More of the belly!

My fabulous girlfriend Annie came over and snapped some pregnancy photos this weekend. It brought me right back to college when we were both photography majors with a lot of make-up and creative energy. We would dress our roommates (and usually ourselves) up in crazy gear and trap them with our cameras. Now I have a lot more belly and Annie has an amazing camera... how things change, but stay the same. Enjoy.

Click to make bigger.

the birth of a president

I sat on a hard chair with my coworkers today and watched our nation give birth to the 44th president. It's been a long hard pregnancy, filled with trips to the emergency room and false labor — but in the end after hours, days and months of pushing we are given the gift of an amazing man to lead our country.

I'm struck with the poignancy of our changing country and it's direct juxtaposition against my own evolving life. So much change. So much hope. So much shifting sand. But with all the movement the idea of light and life and happiness to come.

It reminds me that even when you think things are so bad and are never going to be ok, hope is always there. Whether it's for your nation — or your personal life — the ability to stand up, reach for what you want and be the best you can is something we can all achieve.

My son will be born in the year we elected the first person of color to the highest position in the land. I can't wait to explain that to him someday and see the confusion on his face. I can't wait to see — in my own child — where we have come.

Dreams

Baby Parker's face at 34 weeks.

Back when I was 16, in high school and learning to drive I used to have these crazy driving dreams where I was zipping through town in my car knowing exactly what to do. Because I learned on an automatic, but would be taken out occasionally by Russ to drive a standard (which was much harder for me to master), in most of my dreams I was effortlessly shifting through gears and able to get out of first without a shutter or stall insight!

Since they began during drivers ed these types of dreams have usually come back when my mind is moving over a problem or an issue that I have not been able to physically conquer. Over the last few months of pregnancy they have returned with a vengeance — clearly my brain is working over the largest conundrum it has come across in my 33 years of life: MOTHERHOOD!

I think what makes this situation so hard for a resting mind to digest is the fact that it's a WHO not a WHAT! Even when I was getting married it was the actual wedding that was the issue and never the MAN. I am now entering the biggest relationship of my life but it's with a person I've never met. It's with someone who I will give birth to and love unconditionally until I die. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm scared as fuck.

BUT — Just like my sleeping mind always knew — I'm a fabulous driver. I will only buy manual cars and I have a perfect driving record. Clearly my brain and my heart know something and if I just listen to them everything will be fine. Just like in my dreams.


What has been kicking me!