Deadline Oriented

On Wednesday February 11th I was informed, by my midwife, that my blood pressure was too high and that's she'd like me to stop working that Friday. This went against every fiber in my body. What!? She wanted me to SIT AT HOME for two weeks (or more) before I had this baby and do what exactly? She wanted me to leave my job — with many tasks left to do — with only two days notice. I actually got teary when I called Nick and told him. I had shit to do, I couldn't just wait to have this baby for two weeks while not working.

Then I calmed down. OK, my coworkers can handle life without me. I'm not that necessary and no small children will die because I have to go out early. Then I started dreaming about all the stuff I could get done before the baby came (aka nesting — a word Nick shudders at). Cleaning out that front closet. Washing our hardwood floors. Reorganizing the bookcase in my bedroom. AHHHH this I could handle. So I left work on February 13th (Friday the 13th) with my desk half cleaned out promising "I'll be in next week. I'll pick up my shoes and a few others things I've left and we'll do lunch."

My water broke at 3:30 AM on the 14th. Valentines Day. The day my brother was going to propose to his wonderful girlfriend Catie. Have I ever mentioned how deadline oriented I am? Actually I think I'm allowed to call myself deadline obsessed after this: my water broke 10 1/2 hours after I went on maternity leave. Six hours after I posted "Jill feels really weird to be on maternity leave... with no baby yet!" on Facebook.

From here starts my journey to motherhood. I was long - 27 hours. Painful - I had Nubian and an Epidural. Amazing - have you seen photos of my son?

I've blogged a lot over the last nine months about the prelude to becoming a parent. About worries, hopes, dreams and Obama. During the last 25 minutes of labor when I working the hardest I ever have to push that baby out, it all came together and clicked. I looked at my husband standing over me, urging me on and pushed myself to a place I've never been before and then there he was. My most perfect boy. I went from ordinary women and wife to mother and my life shifted to a new place.

Colum is now 10 days old. He is sweet little man who sleeps like a dream and has started (after a rough few first days - who ever said breastfeeding was natural) eating like a champ. Do I still have worries? YES. Mostly the variety of "should I be watching TV while I'm feeding him?" and "how exactly to you give a 10 day old a bath?". All my big concerns have washed away and motherhood has washed over me. Fatherhood has washed over Nick and we are a great team and, more importantly, a family.

PS. The front hall closet is still a mess and so is the bookshelf — Colum doesn't seem to mind. But my Dad and step-mom, Katie, did come and clean our condo for us... so this baby hasn't seen a dirty floor.

PPS. Catie said YES!